Monday after Fun Day

Posted By on May 10, 2010

Had a lovely day yesterday with my family and our beautiful friends up the street. Yummy dinner, excellent chat, and lots of laughter–my favorite!

I’m reminded I haven’t been home in a while, though. After I wrestle this proposal into submission (funny how that works pun-wise)!

In the 8th start-over, I think I’m finally making this work. I’m writing scared–meaning I’ve lost all sense of my own work–and I can’t quite remember the sensation of having confidence. I know I can write, but I’m lost in the worst case of doubt. The only way to conquer it is to keep writing. This job is not for the weak. You pretty much have to be willing to throw yourself straight into your worst fears every single day. I’ve been so uncertain, fear of failure is a wall falling on me.

So–gotta keep writing. Keep winnowing into the words for more emotion, more who-are-these-characters? And how do they grow? How to mete out enough of the truth about who they are, and how to hold back the same things we humans all hold back on the way to growth.

It’s a good thing I love the work so much–even when it’s sucking my soul straight through my fingertips!

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