“She’s always shocked…”
Posted By admin on June 3, 2011
Last night, we had dinner out, and something happened that happens almost every time I eat a meal. I don’t know if I gab too much, or I’m just a slob, but I seriously ought to invest in a bib. Or a dropcloth.
Invariably, I drop something of the meal on myself. One day my daughter came home from school, and I rushed to meet her and she asked me if I’d enjoyed my salad. Naturally, I marveled at her psychic abilities. Till she pointed out I was still wearing a generous sampling of tomato and onions. Last night I wore home speckles of vegetable soup and about a quart of tartar sauce.
My daughter had invited a friend to join us, and she said that on the way home they discussed my slobbishness (she didn’t put it that way) and my brother-in-law’s inability to stop laughing if he looked at me, or the portion of my meal I felt I ought to keep for later, or my girl. Because we were all laughing. And once one of us started we couldn’t stop. The part of this story that’s making me laugh again even as I type this is that my girl told her friend, “She’s always shocked. Like tonight–she said, ‘Oh, dear,’ as if it had never happened before, and she can’t believe she spilled on herself.”
Do I really say “Oh, dear”?
I don’t mind being a slob. I’m more surprised when I get to the end of a day without sporting a morsel from each meal. Failings? You learn who you are–you embrace the bad stuff–except for traits that most distress you.
And tell me you wouldn’t be distressed if you busted out “Oh, dear!” Am I really a slob who naturally utters archaic, formal dismay?
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